In the Moment

We are in the college's language lab. We're learning about C.A.L.L. -- computer assisted language learning. Someone just pointed out that this blog is part of that. She also observed that the material we're getting in this two hours -- history, introduction, resources, links -- would cost us a pretty penny if we were at a workshop independent of this course.

And, yes, I'm multi-tasking. We who are techno know that's not really rude.

I had every intention . . .

I planned on supporting my cohort. I planned on listening attentively as they concluded their teaching experiences with one last hour-long exploration of vocabulary presentation, grammar structure, and/or listening comprehension. But my head and my heart were not on speaking terms it seems.

Or maybe my head was just so full of fluid it didn't get the message.

At any rate, I barely survived the morning even if it was about jobs (info I need) and developing a syllabus (something that actually fascinates me).

By noon, I knew I was going to take our instructors up on the offer to use one afternoon this week for whatever we wanted. I wanted sleep. I needed to finish up my teaching plan.

I did both.

I feel better . . . allergy medicines are wonderful things and knowing that tomorrow is the last full day of class is good for me as well!

I woke up at 4 a.m.

As soon as consciousness was mine this morning (actually even before!), I was mentally rewriting the paper I had to resubmit, inserting and deleting whole portions of my lesson plan for Friday, and wishing that my mere thinking of such productivity would somehow find its way to the computer without my having to get out from under the covers.

My nose is running as well. And if that's the sign it usually is, I'm going to be coughing by next week.

One of my cohorts told me this morning that today was the first day I had looked tired. "You have so much energy," she said. "I'm surprised to see you looking like this."

I sniffed and said I agreed with her. I wasn't my best self.

Yet the minute I sat in front of the students, I knew I was where I wanted to be. Until, of course, I saw not one but two evaluators in the back of the room. They weren't both there officially. One was checking papers or something. But they were there and suddenly, i wasn't me anymore. I was slow and not connecting the dots and wondering if they were checking me off for this or that.

After I completed my teaching and as I was driving away from campus, I realized something -- I love learning; I just hated being graded.

They weren't kidding . . .

I'm getting weary. A re-submit on one of the written assignments made my day go a little darker. The evaluation was fair. I should have done a complete footnote on my reference. But that's a logical statement. And, after this many hours of homework and the pressure of wanting to do well for both the students and the evaluations, I'm raw.

A couple in our class is dealing with the unexpected death of a loved one. I can't imagine what they're going through. Yet they are enduring. So I guess I can too.

Still . . . Saturday at 12:01 p.m. is my carrot on the end of the stick.

In the meantime, I'm finding authentic texts, trying to understand what gist questions to ask, frustrated that the students book has really lame dialogues for us to work with, and worried that I'm going to do something really stupid and blow my standard rating on Friday . . . IF we have enough students show up.

Did I mention I'm getting weary?

Thanksgiving Weekend

I'm thankful that it was ONLY 12.5 hours of homework, that my time with friends and a turkey (please note that my friends AREN'T turkeys) exceeded that hour count, and that televised football now includes computer generated helps for folks like me who could never keep up with first downs.

5:20 p.m. and I'm on holiday!

The Thanksgiving holiday is a favorite of mine because the only real expectation is to be full. I do, however, try and keep in mind that I have much for which to be grateful.

Today, I'm grateful that I have four days off.

I'm not thrilled that it will be somewhat consumed by two papers and the creation of a lesson plan I'll have to teach on Monday. But hey, that's what I've paid for.

Happy Turkey Day!

Kudos to My Cohorts

Today I watched as my fellow trainers in training showed exactly what listening to your instructors can do. One adapted a lesson plan with seeming ease and showed no sign of strain as she stretched what she thought was to be a 20 minute plan into 40. Another worked with patience until our faithful but sometimes weaker student made her way through a difficult Q&A we she proclaimed "dificil" but good. And finally, another applied every piece of feedback she was given yesterday as though she were a practiced pro.

Ok, maybe I'm being a bit effusive but even so, they were good!